Archive for June, 2006
Newsweek Says Brad Pitt Makes US Great
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006Steve brought the Newsweek home from the office and showed it to me. Brad Pitt’s mug stood out in front, in front–of doctors, of common people who are doing great things and just ahead of Solidad O’Brien the reporter. Did Newsweek intend to be metaphorical in their cover? Celebrities and journalists are just a little bit, make that a lot, better than the rest of us. That was my first impression. And I laughed.
My second thought was wondering what the heck Pitt has done for mankind besides showing his glorious ass as the character Achilles in the movie Troy. For that contribution this lady will be forever grateful. I want to thank Brad here and now. What else has this pompous dude done besides cheat on his wife and procreate with ole’ what’s her name?
My third thought was “Hey, wait a minute. Brad Pitt wasn’t really a helpy helper until he hooked up with Ms. Angelina Jolie. Why is he getting all the kudos?” Newsweek is not just silly, it’s sexist, too. How typical. A woman does all the hard work (not to mentions births a baby in the middle of her hard work) and her stupid hanger-on husband gets all the credit.
Brad Pitt was interviewed for the article and bemoaned the helicopters above his house that were so loud he couldn’t hear the questions. Awwww…. It does seem like his heart is in the right place and all, but all and I wish him luck. But is he, as auther Sean Smith swoons, “part of the solution”? That might be a stretch.
They Are Just More Important Than You Are
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006I essentially told you the same thing yesterday here, but not quite as eloquently as Andrew C. McCarthy at National Review Online did yesterday so I’m linking to his article. By the way, he believes, and I agree, that prosecuting the Times would be deeply unsatisfying, mainly because those with the bully pulpits would go to extreme lengths to protect their own and only continue to frame the administration as Constitutional and Civil Rights stomping autocrats. His opinion about letting deranged dogs lie is here.
More over at NRO by Rich Lowry who discusses Bill Keller’s self-appointment as Super Secret Special Spy Intelligence Czar (I added the “super secret special spy” part).
D.C. Hotties
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006I thought that was a non-sequitor by those “in the know”, but here’s the (guys and girls) nominations over at Wonkette.
A Toddler Conversation
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006Setting: Master bedroom on bed in the morning
Characters: Daddy, Mama, Girl, Boy, Baby 15 months old
Baby: That’s Daddy (sounded like pffats dada)
Mama: Do you want to get down and see him?
Baby: Thessss!
Baby runs into bathroom to Daddy arms up. Big hug.
Why do I get the feeling that I’ll look back on days like today and remember them as the best days of my life?
Terrorist Snake
Tuesday, June 27th, 2006Why would a poisonous snake need to blend in? It has poison to protect him or her, right? That has been the theory, anyway. Snakes with poison usually have bright colors or rattles or something to warn competitors or predators. They don’t need camo to protect themselves.
A newly discovered snake in Borneo is a chameleon and is poisonous. Now, aside from terrorizing it’s prey and predators, too, by blending in and then striking, what evolutionary purpose would such traits confer?
Maybe it just doesn’t like being found by nosey scientists. And how would we know if it is so rare? I’m guessing the snake blends in everywhere it’s in the water. The scientists wouldn’t even know that the “reed” is a snake and poisonous and blending in…..
Really, we can presume this?
Transvestite Gang Terrorizes Retailers in The Big Easy
Monday, June 26th, 2006A bunch of dudes dressed like women cause a diversion (a 6’5″ tall woman with 5″ platforms is a diversion) and then a bunch of other “ladies” scamper out of the store with the goods.
This ploy is not new. My sister, during her two-day stint in retail way back in the day in Michigan, amiably asked one of the girls,”May I help you, Sir?” Well s/he had a fit saying, “Sir! Sir! Who you callin’ ‘Sir’”.
But she’s a smart cookie and figured out His/Her little plan and also saw his co-conspirators slithering out of the store. She ran and called the Mall Cops and busted them. Pretty funny.
Parkinsons & Pesticides
Monday, June 26th, 2006A strong link found. One of the biggest sources of pesticides as I have noted before: Golf Courses. Living on or downstream from a golf course is dangerous. Using them in the house and outside is dangerous, too.
I predict that Parkinsons will greatly increase over the coming years.
Gayness & Older Brothers
Monday, June 26th, 2006A Dr. Breedlove (I kid you not) says that a new study confirms his belief that male-pattern-gayness is biological. Older brothers, not step-brother older brothers, increase a dude’s chances of being gay.
This, say researchers proves that it is the intrauterine environment that causes gayness. And I thought that getting the crap beat out of you by older brothers could cause a man to seek the affection he so lacked from his fraternity or, if you’re Freudian, the guy has a repetition compulsion to seek aggressive male behavior. Or both.
But no. It’s the mom’s fault. Something gestationally is off.
The intrauterine environment can contribute to a host of anomalies but usually some other factor is involved, too. A woman can be exposed to toxins like medications, alcohol, pesticides, excessive hormones and who knows what else or be deprived of oxygen and nutrients and have children missing limbs, or with lowered I.Q. or with sterility or Spina Bifida or Cleft Palate or the child can go on to have a Cancer. No one would argue that these affects are desirable.
I’m noting that the research is steering away from genetics. Is being gay a genetic “defect”? And then there is the dicey double-bind of “woman’s body, woman’s choice.” Imagine finding the gay gene and then parents wanting a “normal” kid aborting or sifting through the genetics to “opt out” of said child. Raising a gay child can be difficult, kinda like Down’s Syndrome or Autism or Clubbed Feet. (I’m being sarcastic.)
No one really wants to believe that environment causes gayness either. Troubled marriages, domineering mothers, abusive fathers, absent fathers, mean older brothers, neglect, sexual abuse, etc. certainly couldn’t contribute to psychological difficulties. Being gay isn’t a psychological difficulty. Parents aren’t implicated in their child’s gender identification and sexual maturation. “You’re born that way.” Convenient. For everybody.
Sexuality is such a complicated mix of hormones, genetics, environment, including the gestational environment, socialization, patterning and traumas that trying to say just one element is the cause seems to be reaching for a desired end. And all this still ignores one thing: choice.
For example, my genetics would tend to lean toward the fat and squat Scottish heritage I have on both sides. That is, genetically, I have a greater likelihood to be overweight. Add to the genetic soup, a family environment of emotional eating–obsessively-compulsively reaching for the Pringles and Dr. Pepper–and my chances aren’t good. Still, I have a choice about what and how much I eat even when I feel on “autopilot”.
Sexuality is similar (not the same–we can survive without sex, individually, not the species–we can’t survive without food). Men in all-male environments will turn to homosexuality and not consider themselves “gay.” Many men who consider themselves gay marry and, by the way, procreate, because they choose the social structure of marriage and children. There is an element of will and choice to every sexual encounter. Humans are not simply driven by some instinct.
Before people copulate, the cogitate.
Are researchers hoping that by finding the “magic bullet” people will finally believe that cosmic destiny forms sexuality?
For Bible believers, even a “magic bullet” won’t do it. God says homosexuality, bestiality, incest, fornication is wrong. It’s wrong. No scientifc research will dissuade them. Want proof? Evolution is “Exhibit A”.
Why the fight? Why the obsession? Even in a country where a majority believe that Gay Marriage should be banned and most would prefer their children to be straight, gays enjoy safety and freedom. If there is so much oppression and prejudice, why do gays enjoy better economic standing?
What is the ultimate goal of getting to the bottom of the gay mystery, if it’s even possible?
Road Rage: Rule Reminders for the Vehicularly Challenged
Monday, June 26th, 2006
For the love of Pete! I can’t take it anymore! The driving habits of the distracted and disturbed make me crazy and I’m not gonna take it. Rather than buy a high-powered rocket launcher and attach it to my intimidating black SUV, I shall remind my dear readers (none of which need this education, of course, but they may want to forward this along to known offenders) of some basic road rules.
Don’t people take Drivers Education anymore? Evidently, anyone with the I.Q. of a tree stump can get a license.
Here are my greivances and rule reviews in no particular order:
- The vehicle in the turn lane has the right of way. If you are sitting at a stop or exitting a shopping center, and someone is turning left off of the boulevard onto your street or into the parking lot, the other vehicle gets to go first. Always. Wait your turn, bonehead!
- Related to that, when pulling into a boulevard to turn, take it wide. The reason? You can see oncoming traffic. When you pull around tight and then another vehicle pulls in to go the other direction, you block each others views of the traffic and get “stuck”. Idiots.
- At a four way stop, when two people get to the intersection at the same time, the person to the right has the right of way. First, don’t sit there slack-jawed and dull waiting for the other person if you’re to the right. And don’t wave them through either. Just go, already and save the politesse for opening doors and letting old ladies sit on the bus. Second, if you are to the left, be patient, you selfish jerk. It is not a God-ordained right to go through the intersection first. Idiot.
- At a four way stop, when people in all four directions get there at the same time, those who do not cross traffic have the right of way. Those who turn right go first. Those who turn left wait. When done right, this driving “challenge” looks like a lovely vehicular ballet.
- When turning left or right onto a street, keep your vehicle in the lane closest to you. That is, don’t turn right onto a street and veer into the other lane. Sideswiping is so much fun when some dumbass turns right while you have the left hand turn signal, but staying in the lane nearest you minimizes that risk.
- When passing someone on the left, you should accelerate around them and into the right lane, not slow down. No one, even Cops, gives a flip if you exceed the speed limit, momentarily, to pass. You are welcome to slow down to the speed limit once firmly in the lane. And, hello all buttheads? Listen up! Don’t pass and then slow down to five miles under the speed-limit. Go to a shrink and get your subconscious anger and control issues resolved. Don’t take your neurosis out on innocent travelers. Please!
- When merging, the person driving on the street should maintain speed. Do not slow down to allow someone into traffic. It is the other vehicle’s job to merge. Thus the term merge.
- Mergers, if the sign says merge, merge. Don’t stop! For the love of peet, if the traffic engineers believed a stop sign was necessary they would have had you stop. If you weren’t talking on the telephone, rock head, you could “multi-task” accelerating and turning. I know it’s a lot to manage.
- When someone is turning left and there is lots of traffic, and they need to turn in front of you to get into the parking lot, do not wave them across. You are then liable if they get broadsided by a vehicle that roars up to the traffic.
- If you are leaving a parking lot and need to make a quick left, don’t cross four lanes of traffic, essentially travelling parallel to your desired route. Think ahead and go out of the parking lot another way.
- Use your turn signals. Maybe your wife can read your mind, but the rest of us can’t.
- Parents, even though we are heartened that some Americans are still disciplining their off-spring, could you please refrain from doing so from the front seat. I have yet to see stellar driving from someone whose head is turned 180 yelling at junior. I dunno, I find it disconcerting when I make eye-contact with the driver ahead of me. Call me crazy.
- Not that you’ll understand this point, but I’ll write it anyway since this is a snarky rant, the Cops know you’re illegal even if you drive 15 miles under the speed-limit. Towing lawn equipment is no excuse. If your car is road-worthy, drive the speed limit. You’ll blend in better, I promise.
- A new immigrant Wop (“Wop” means without papers–a slang term used derogetorily against Italians at one time–although this guy disagrees), at least learn what the signs mean. Good grief, navigating around cell phone users only to be killed because someone doesn’t know that Stop means Stop (an alternate version of “no means no”.)
And finally, NEWSFLASH! You are an average driver at best. Some days you absolutely suck at driving. Don’t blab on the cellphone and think that you can do two things at once. You can’t. Your mediocre reflexes get 10x worse (akin to being drunk) when you yack on the phone.
Focus. Practice Zen. Be in the moment. Drive.
Oh, and follow the rules! I feel better.
Update: Psychology Today has an Article today (I hadn’t read it yet) titled “Women Driven Mad”. A study of 97 men and women (not exactly scientific, but fun and authoritative sounding, nonetheless) reveals this:
The change, Herman believes, stems from women’s boost in self-perception and identity, resulting from a recent climb up the career ladder. “Women are now achieving things and are less tolerant of other people,” she says. “They wonder, ‘Don’t you realize I’m a busy person?’”
In fact, what most triggers road rage among both sexes is their jobs, Herman finds in her study at Central Michigan University. “Oppressive conditions and alienation in the workplace lead people to misdirect their anger when they drive,” she says. So for women, the rush of near-equality combined with the stress of high-powered jobs may be a recipe for rage.
I don’t know what this says about me–a high-powered mostly stay-at-home mom with work worked around that job. I must say that I do experience “oppressive conditions [poopy diapers are definitely oppressive] and alienation [there is no one else to blame but me, I feel so alienated, from, me?] in the workplace”.
NYT Expands Executive Authority
Monday, June 26th, 2006This time I can only read Scott Ott’s satire grimly. This whole thing is beyond humor. Maybe after the War is won treason will be funny. Right now, it just irritates the heck outta me.
