Abortion Is Great!

April 6, 2008 / 1:06 am • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

Amanda Marcotte is at it again, and by “it” I mean illustrating why feminists hurt themselves when it comes to abortion. Statements like this are so repulsive to the average person:

I appreciate the idea that visibility is critical to getting people to understand that women who get abortions or rape victims—two groups dehumanized and demonized in an effort to strip them of their rights—are human beings. I was in full support of the “I had an abortion” T-shirt, because to me, it’s not complicated. The anti-choice movement tries like hell to erase women’s existence, or at least our individuality, and the T-shirt undermines that. It also clarifies that abortion is nothing to be ashamed of. For me, “I had an abortion” should be as morally loaded as “I had a Pap smear”. The underpinnings of the moral angst about abortion—the idea that a woman has no right to pry loose a flag a man has planted in her (even if he agrees with her decision, as most men in this case do), or that she should be punished for having sex—offend me to the core, and that many women go through anguish over getting abortions depresses me. They shouldn’t feel bad for having sex or having autonomy. In fact, they should be proud of themselves for taking care of themselves despite all the misogynist messages out there that women don’t have a right to take care of ourselves. People balked at the idea that the “I had an abortion” T-shirts smacked of that mortal female sin of pride, but I applaud it. Women should be proud of doing right by themselves in a world where that’s socially disavowed.

Ann Althouse, who believes in abortion, says this:

The “abortion” shirt, on the other hand, admits that you’ve done something for yourself that involved sacrificing what many people believe is another human being. Why do you want to say that by T-shirt? In Marcotte’s view, it’s to show that you’re proud of “taking care” of yourself “despite all the misogynist messages out there.” I thought it was more to normalize abortion — to make it seem ordinary, widespread, and something that would be done without shame by nice, upstanding women.

I happen to believe that abortion is wrong. Period. However, I can understand a woman’s claim to her own body. I can understand the fear of an unwanted pregnancy. Most women have had that fear at one time in their life. So, as much as I find abortion repugnant, I don’t find those who feel trapped and make that decision repugnant. It can seem perfectly rational at the time. Still, I know only two women who haven’t regretted their decision, and often the forced decision to abort a child.

Abortion is a tortured experience for a woman because it is a morally fraught decision. The same woman who aborts a “fetus” will call a wanted child her “baby” the instant she reports the joy of her pregnancy. Many women regret being moved by fear or helplessness. Many women resent the manipulation by boyfriends, husbands and family when she wants the baby. Many women would choose differently if given the choice again.

This reality seems to be lost by those like Amanda Marcotte. In her absolutist world, there is no ambiguity around the topic. There is no such thing as regret or conflict. Women should wear their abortions with pride. It is a sign of self-affirmation.

And she actually touches on the heart of the problem. At it’s heart, abortion is a selfish decision. A woman is choosing her own comfort over the discomfort and inconvenience of an unplanned for child (I am not touching on the anguish a raped woman feels in facing the future). And she feels women should wear this selfishness with pride. She does a disservice to the reproductive rights crowd and harms her own movement by being so cavalier about the implications of the decision to abort.

Society benefits that shame is associated with “the right to choose.” Is there no shame anymore? Even with the shame, far too many people engage in sex without thought and consideration of the consequences that can result in another being paying the ultimate price for momentary pleasure. Removing the shame would simply increase the number of abortions and multiply the regret of many more people, who, stopped by their conscience, opt to have a child and make it work instead of choosing abortion.

The real shame is that feminists elevate selfishness and refuse to see the conflict inherent in the decision to abort. By doing so, they harm women they ostensibly desire to help.

Cross-posted at Right Wing News.

Update:

Well, my post ruffled the feathers of Ms. Marcotte. She says this as a conclusion:

There is only one thing to conclude from this.

Melissa Clouthier enjoys getting a Pap smear.

Honestly, if they were less anxious about sex, they could do it like normal people and quit having to find bizarre and frankly perverse ways to enjoy the touch of another human being.

Equating a Pap Smear with an Abortion is fascinating. So the embryonic cells forming a baby fall into the same category as atypical cells on the cervix related to genital warts (human papilloma virus–HPV causes cellular change and it the cause of cervical cancer). [UPDATE AGAIN: Please note that atypical cells can be caused by many things, not just HPV. For more information, go here. ] A pap smear has the same significance as an abortion in that they are both uncomfortable procedures? Or is it that both procedures are necessary because they come about due to enjoying sex?

And then, of course, people who are against abortions must hate sex and women. I happen to love both. No, I’m not a lesbian–don’t get too excited. But is there a more lame stereotype? A Christian, married woman must be frigid, hate herself, hate women and hate sex. She’s under the foot of the male patriarchy, dominated, and deluded.

The only way to prove my liberation is to believe in abortion.

  • Anonymous

    Hey, we could always illegalize abortion and make our country look more like Nigeria or Nicaraugua.
    I mean those are awesome moral paradises where women and children thrive.
    Right? Oh yeah… not so much.

  • Anonymous

    Melissa is from The Woodlands? That explains everything!

  • Jesurgislac

    Melissa: As such, even implying that there should be fewer abortions or that people who use them as birth control are irresponsible is anathema.

    Oh, for crying out loud. Of course there should be fewer abortions. By ensuring everyone has access to good sex education and contraception.

    It’s never irresponsible of a woman to decide to terminate a pregnancy when she knows she can’t care for the child.

    It is criminally irresponsible for governments, medical establishments, and parents, to deny contraception. Freely available contraception, and the knowledge how to use it, is the best preventer of abortion.

    One of the most horrific aspects of this thread, besides Darleen’s horrible story about how a 15-year-old child was abused (forced pregnancy is child abuse) with Darleen’s enthusiastic approval, is Darleen’s enthusiastic and sticky suggestion that people who want to prevent abortion are child molesters. She herself is self-confessedly guilty of child abuse. But she tries to imply with rather obvious and stupid threats, that giving kids access to contraception and the knowledge how to use it and the right to safeguard their health and wellbeing by having an abortion, is tantamount to sexual molestation.

    So long as that attitude prevails in the US, the US will continue to have the highest rate of teen pregnancy and childbirth in the developed world, because irresponsible, abusive adults like Darleen prefer teenage girls to have babies. As she admits herself, several times.

    This is a fairly obvious attempt to shut down discussion – you notice Darleen has not once said a word of blame about the father of this baby. And it’s succeeded. I won’t back. But Melissa: if you genuinely want to prevent abortions, Darleen is your opponent. Not Amanda Marcotte or any other pro-choice activist.

  • Darleen

    Isn’t it strange that the pro-abortion advocates, like jesur, would be very very happy if my story had been the reverse … ie my daughter’s friend had defied her parents to have an abortion. Oh my, what a mature decision against godbotherers she would have made!

    But no, she decided to finally break free of their years of parental neglect and also found the courage to extract her self from a poor co-dependency relationship with a boy her age .. a relationship that had been enabled by her parents who saw nothing really wrong with them having sex (and who provided her with condoms).

    So we are really confronted with jesur and ilk’s not so transparent agenda. Teens should never be discouraged from sex, girls should be provided, maybe even forced, to take oral contraceptives (note that jesur sneers at condoms and never is worried about STDs – just more evidence of jesur’s view of young girls as pleasure property).

    Any rational person can see that jesur and ilk are just not interested in a woman’s decision unless it is for abortion.

    Free abortions for all! Forced abortions for teens!

  • Darleen

    btw

    Pro-choice is not pro-abortion, which jesur has revealed about him/herself.

    Amanda is not a pro-choicer. Like jesur, Amanda doesn’t believe in adoption. Amanda believes a woman’s default position on any pregnancy that doesn’t fall into very very narrow parameters should be abortion. She doesn’t believe in marriage, either. She believes that any woman who believes in marriage or family is allowing men to own their vagina.

    Amanda just rents hers out.

  • Anonymous

    I am a 39 year old man. I have had at least three girlfriends have abortions (that I know of). My 17 year old son has already had a pregnant girlfriend abort a child. I don’t regret those abortions and I know, for a fact, that the woman who had them don’t either. The ultimate “selfish” decision, imo, is for a woman who is reluctant to fully carry out the responsibilities of parenting bring a child into the world because abortion is “icky” or “repugnant.” I am also a divorce attorney and a father of three, healthy, well adjusted children (one of whom I gave up for adoption when I was 17 and in high school) and I have seen, both personally and professionally, the consequences when reluctant women and men have children they are not able or willing to properly care for.

  • Anonymous

    um, should be “women” in the third sentence. sorry.

  • Anonymous

    ok, sorry, fourth sentence.

  • Darleen

    I am a 39 year old man. I have had at least three girlfriends have abortions (that I know of). My 17 year old son has already had a pregnant girlfriend abort a child.

    Looks like your son has learned how to be an exploiter just like dear old scummy dad.

    Congratulations. You must be SO proud.

  • Anonymous

    Of course I would have preferred that he exercised better judgment and used contraception. I should have also. But no one was “exploited” unless you have changed the word’s meaning beyond comprehension. Consenting adults may make choices to do things with their bodies that you abhor, but, in a liberal democracy, that is how it must be. Each of the women referred to in my comment voluntarily chose to have an abortion. I don’t understand why you feel better to be repulsed by those choices, but do as you see fit.

  • Anonymous

    And, Darleen, your comment reveals that your concern is, as always with people of your ilk, less about the lives of actual, living children, and the blastocyst. You would have me “hate” my son, because he is an immoral “exploiter” and hate myself for my own behavior. You prefer that we are shunned and shamed. Would you like to throw stones at me? Burn us? Should the women who had the abortions be charged with first degree murder? Put to death by lethal injection? Is my son an accessory to murder? Am I? Please, Darleen, grow up.

  • Anonymous

    Too angry to use preview. Should be: “And, Darleen, your comment reveals that your concern is, as always with people of your ilk, less about the lives of actual, living children than the blastocyst.”

  • Darleen

    anon

    You have admitted to three abortions and one adoption.

    1 or 2 oopsies, maybe, but at least 4? And you never learned to use a condom? And unless your son was having unprotected sex with a girl 18 or over, yeah, I’d put him on the exploitive pathway, too.

    You know, a person doesn’t DIE from chosing not to have sex — especially if one is not prepared to engage in it responsibly.

    What informs your values that females are put here for your sexual pleasure without any concern for what might happen to them or the nascent human life you might be creating?

  • Darleen

    2nd Anon

    Again, I am concerned about how exploitive sex IS harming living breathing people – especially young women. 1 in 4 teens has suffered an STD. Multiple partners at an early age = cervical abnormalities.

    The “promiscuity is great because you can just get rid of any inconvenient consequence” is the biggest fraud the Free Love Boomers ever foisted upon the culture. Just as TANSTAAFL, so There Ain’t No Such Thing As Free Sex.

    Funny, you would probably throw your hands in horror if people were telling teens it is ok to smoke cigarettes as much as they wanted, just use filters and get a lung xray once a year, but you have no problems in encouraging promiscuous sex.

    You have some serious Daddy issues. Seek help.

  • Darleen

    Jaysus on a Pony, Anon

    Don’t hate your son, PARENT him for god’s sake! Don’t let him use women like so much kleenex to catch ejaculations like you have.

  • Darleen

    that should be

    1 in 4 teen GIRLS suffered from an STD.

    And let’s toss how abortion might affect a girl’s future fertility into the mix, too.

    Sex is not a good choice for teens.

    Let your kid know that masturbation is a wise choice and to keep his hands (and other parts) off girls.

  • Anonymous

    God, Darleen, your view of women as free moral agents is so dim. I wonder why that is…Why do you hate consensual sex? I guess you answered my question, you do want to stone us (at least men, you seem to have an exception for women).

  • Darleen

    Anon

    I think you should follow the first rule of holes.

    Consensual sex between adults isn’t even on my radar. I’m just not interested in people’s private, consenting sex lives.
    To PRETEND that your 4 admitted irresponsible sexploits are not indicative of your problematic view of women is risible.

    Criticizing gluttony is not telling people to starve. Criticizing gossip is not censorship. Criticizing exploitive relationships is not anti-consensual sex.

    Certainly women are moral agents. But it goes to YOU when you admit 4 times of refusing to use a condom with 4 different women. It speaks to your cavalier attitude where it concerns your partner’s well being.

    You got issues, dude.

  • Anonymous

    Thanks for the exchange Darlene. I now know you really do know what’s best for me. I’ll take your advice and get some help for my issues!

  • Darleen

    yeah, you do that now, y’hear.

    Yeah, that’s the ticket.