One More Because I Love You, Man
July 18, 2008 / 12:08 am • By Dr. Melissa ClouthierActually, I’m not doing any writing, here, I’m just quoting Rachel Lucas because she is so dang funny and hit on one of my pet peeves at the same time. Here’s what she said:
The best thing about Sunny isn’t her love of pork treats or her aircraft carrier-sized butt, it’s the contortions her mouth goes through in order to receive the pork treats that result in the aircraft carrier-sized butt. Also the fact that she is so conditioned to snarf down anything flying through air towards her face that she will now perform those contortions even for fish oil pills and green beans. She’s on a diet, you know.
Maggie, on the other hand? Well, she is simply filled with murderous rage. Tell me this dog is not going to rip out my jugular some day.
[Picture of humiliated dog, here. Go look. It's hilarious.]
A friend asked me recently if I ever feel bad about putting pictures like this on my blog, and I asked if she meant do I feel bad because it makes me look like a psycho. She said, no, because it’s humiliating for your dogs.
I pointed out that the dogs don’t know. Because they’re dogs. They don’t exactly get on the internet. Jesus.
Amen, sister Rachel. Actual conversation I had with my overseas sister as I was dog sitting her genius Collie:
Me: Your dog is crapping on our patio.
Sister: Aw, she must be stressed.
Me: I think she is the happiest member of the household.
Sister: She must be stressed, I mean, she is so smart, she knows better. Why would she do that?
Me: Um, because, she’s a dog and dogs shit where they want to?
Even the smartest dog humps things, sniffs other dog’s asses and for some reason, doesn’t innately know when he smells like a compost pile and needs a shower. Dogs are dogs. They ARE NOT PEOPLE.
Okay, it’s late. Maybe I’m getting a little more worked up about this than necessary.
As an aside, I have some rockin’ pictures to send Rachel that are totally post-worthy, but I’m waiting until my sister gets back out of the country because she’d kill me if she saw them. Only one week left…..buwahahaha!
