Obama’s Off-Base Base

September 7, 2008 / 2:24 pm • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

Considering all the vile smears, stunning lies, and sheer stupidity of the recent attacks against Sarah Palin, it seems like it would be wise to pause and spend a little time getting inside the heads of those who 1) would believe such feather-brained nonsense and 2) breathlessly share the nonsense as if God-Himself revealed the “truth” on Mt. Obama.

Via StoptheACLU, I present this:

It should be noted that Republicans like trees. In fact, I live in a Houston suburb where the main attractions are two-fold–trees and conservative values. Interestingly, though, these people also have better things to do with their time then go to a remote forest and emote over fallen trees.

Barack Obama hims and haws when interviewed. It is difficult for him to give a straight answer like, “I was wrong about the surge. It worked just as well as John McCain imagined it would”, because to do so would tee off his base. He has to be for the troops but against any battlefield the troops might be fighting on. He has to be for energy independence but against any form of energy independence which maybe could possibly harm the environment (which is to say all of them). He has to be for a strong economy but also for stupid environmental policy which would send the economy in a death spiral.

See why it’s so hard to be Obama? He has to cater to ever fruit and nut around the country or risk losing the devote followers who will psychotically print, do and say anything to support the Obamessiah’s presidential bid.

Ultimately, Obama ends up looking like a floundering politician beholden to nutters. Which, he is.