A Sincere Note Of Thanks To Blago

January 26, 2009 / 3:20 pm • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

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Dear Rod,

After the last couple tough weeks, I figure you need some encouragement. You aren’t being recognized enough for the challenging road you’ve taken. Today, I’d like to warmly thank you.

Republican political scandals were so boring. Oh there was the little toe-tapping adventure and some pastor no-one knows got freaky with a gay prostitute, but really, Republicans just don’t know how to do scandal like Democrats. Republicans resign in ignominy. Democrats…..linger.

So, today, I’d like to thank you for your staying power. You are a model of endurance and self-absorption and in a league all your own. The perfect Democratic role model. Charles Rangel, William Jefferson, John Edwards, Eliot Spitzer, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank, Jack Murtha (past and present), even Bill Clinton can’t hold a scandalicious candle to you. You, fine sir, are the best of the best. Well, you’re up there with Ted Kennedy at least.

Hats off to you, Blago! And many thanks for not being bullied by the Chicago mob, the machine and the seedy politicians who made you. That takes some serious internal fortitude. And for that, you’ve earned my respect. Plus, and all, every time you open your mouth you are a better advertisement for Democratic policy than any rational Republican could be. Truly, I can’t thank you enough.

May you be successful in your quest–to save your hide by bringing down every slithering snake who helped you get you where you are today. Best wishes and good luck!

Sincerely,

An adoring fan

P.S. You were awesome on The View! I thought this analysis was particularly insightful:

You might think that the spectacle of Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich’s impeachment and media self-justification tour could not get more surreal. But that would underestimate The View, which began its sitdown with Blago, hands clasped, being interrogated by Barbara Walters’s giant head on a flat-screen monitor. (Walters was beamed in from L.A., where she traveled for a taping.)

It was like the Wizard of Oz lecturing a deferential but unrepentent munchkin. And, unsurprisingly, it just got weirder from there.

Don’t stop, ’til you’re vindicated, Blago! You don’t deserve the treatment you’ve received. You’re wronged and oppressed. If no one will speak for you, at least you’ll speak for yourself.

  • J David

    Dear Rod,
    I, too, would like to thank you for so many delicious things you have brought to those who would pause and glance at reality. Thank you for giving us all a glimpse into the world that is Obama’s beginnings and his original powerbase, the primordial ooze from which he hath sprung…

    Thank you for showing us the id of every commie-lib Democrat, what really lurks in their hearts, and the methodology by which most of them advance, and for allowing us to then speculate(those non-cultists who would) on the meaning of South American banana republic politics that is now status quo USA politics as well.

    I want to proclaim my support for you, Rod! I want the world to hear the stories that must necessarily come out about Chicago’s orgiastic political incest that is Democrat Party politics in microcosm. I want to hear all the good stuff you reveal when this prosecution goes forward, you are sent to jail, and begin to make a living on the “inside” selling tell-all books about the Communist and Socialist-endorsed cult leader consolidating his power over the once-great liberty-loving America.

    Tell the world your tragic, heart-rending story of the average Democrat politician’s career suddenly gone wrong(and why Patrick “Fitz-fong” Fitzpatrick stopped the investigation before getting all the evidence!) Good luck upon joining the vast multitude of “victims”(that you helped create)in fighting “the Man”, Dude!
    Power to the People!
    J David

  • http://mkfreeberg.webloggin.com Morgan K Freeberg

    Two of the thinnest lists I have:

    1. Scandalized Republicans who hung on;
    2. Scandalized democrats who threw it in.

    If they were skirts, they’d be illegal.

  • http://caffeinatedthoughts.com Shane Vander Hart

    LOL! Thanks for the laugh this evening Melissa!

  • pan

    How can anyone think that corruption is specific to one of the political parties? You really have to have an immense amount self-BSing to thing this.

    Party before country for all I guess…

  • LEARNED FOREVER

    Drama. I like it some times. Especially when its not mine. I’m sure to be the only one to think this; for what its worth:

    I hope Blago is vindicated by the facts. And the behavior of Fitzgerald is investigated.

    Something is fishy about this entire morality play. Fitzgerald pulled the plug on this operation before any of the BIG, INFLUENTIAL, DEMOCRAT FAT CATS, showed up flashing BIG MONEY w/POLITICAL STRINGS ATTACHED. Why?

    Blago using f-bombs and boasting while on the phone is not a crime. The democrats acted at the speed-of-sound to get this guy jettisoned.
    Why? Did a political, near-death experience, motivate the democrats and Fitzgerald.