How The Government Works

March 2, 2009 / 1:34 pm • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

My brother sent me this and I thought I’d share it with you:

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee and the third is from Minnesota.

All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, “$2,700.”

The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”

The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”

“Done!” replies the government official.

And that, my friend, is how the new stimulus plan will work.

It left out consultants, but I digress.

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  • http://daniel.summershome.org Daniel

    Someone sent me this in e-mail a while back…

    The little boy asks his father that he needs to know the definition of politics for a most important paper he has due for his class. The father quickly announces that he definitely knows the definition and could assist his son. He begins by informing his son that his father is the “Wage Earner” in the family, therefore. he is “Management.” Then, he noted that he comes home and gives all the money to his son’s mother, so she is “Government.” And, he continues to point out that our maid is the “Working Class,” and his son is the “Public” and his little brother is the “Future.”

    The little boy goes to his room attempting to work on his paper, but is very confused. Soon, he gets very tired and falls asleep. After sleeping a short while, he is awakened by his little brother who is screaming. He rushes to his little brother’s bedroom and quickly smells that his brother messed in his diaper and it was all over the bed. The little boy then rushes to his parent’s bedroom to find his mother totally curled up and sleeping soundly. There was no sign of his father. He rushes around the house, but could not find his father. He then goes to the maid’s room and discovers the door is locked. He looks through the key-hole and sees his father in there with the maid!

    At the breakfast table the next morning he excitedly thanks his father for informing him about politics and that he was able to complete his paper. Curiously, his father asks, “so what is the definition?” His son responds, “It’s like this, Dad: while Management is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, nobody is listening to the Public and the Future is full of ****.”

  • Mr. Chuckles

    Congratulations, Melissa…Your story just explained how eight years of CheneyBush worked with no-bid contracts for KBR, Hallibuton, Bechtel, etc.

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