Talking About Men Again & Enduring Prohibition

March 3, 2009 / 10:31 am • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

I have written on manliness before since I dig manly men and find the softening male culture…well, boring if nothing else. Men and women are made different and their differences make life interesting. The sexual revolution resulted in a boring world where men are metrosexuals–all pointy-toed shoes and manicures, and women are butch she-beasts. In both cases, what can be identified as uniquely masculine or uniquely feminine are lost. People are neutered.

I don’t want a neutered world. I want a world where being fully female and fully male is valued. Tom Flake guesting at Brutally Honest describes the man he wants to be:

I am “Old School”. In a previous era I may have been considered macho. I prefer combat sports (boxing and mixed martial arts) to team sports (baseball and basketball). I prefer outdoor activities (rock climbing, whitewater rafting and camping) to video games. I prefer competition to cooperation, and may the best man win. All too often today, macho self-confidence is confused with “a*shole”, “arrogant”, or “pig-headed” particularly when it entails any interface with the gentler gender. I believe that in this era of feminized, emasculated, gender-neutral, neutered, politically-correct, “my right to not be offended, trumps your freedom of speech” era, many men who would otherwise voice their opinions have chosen instead to be quiet and pine for a better yesterday. Yet, straight shooters who opt to solve problems rather than wring their hands over them, is exactly what we need.

We have come to a point in American society where straight shooters are viewed with suspicion and loathing. Saying the truth in a direct manner “hurts people’s feelings”. Using logic means that “you don’t care”.

The culture encourages warped stereotypes by creating women heroines that can best their male counterparts physically, when it’s patently false. (Wonder Woman had magical powers to help her. I’m talking about human women with superhuman powers.) Can you imagine a woman kicking John Wayne’s butt?

The culture encourages “hooking up” when it creates a superficial sexual environment that diminishes the soul and spirit. Women wonder why men won’t commit. Men wonder why they should.

The culture shows disrespect for men. There are too many examples to list. Don’t be too tough. Don’t be too anything.

The culture shows disrespect for women. Don’t be too mommy-ish. Don’t be too successful at work.

America has become The View–both women and men are hectored to death by clucking hens, peck, peck, pecking the culture into “nice” submission. We are all enduring prohibition still. Bossed and nagged, both men and women are cowed into submission lest they be branded immoral.

I’m tired of it. I’m tired of things you can’t say. I’m tired of typical female and male behavior being pathologized. I’m tired of weak leaders and shrinking, scared thought-leaders.

If America is going to rise from this ash heap, someone will have to lead. Weak men and pious, pouty women won’t do it.

Cross-posted at

  • Mark

    This will not make you popular with the PC crowd! Great points, and it serves as a reminder there is always an agenda behind anyone who attempts “win through your submission” to their views.

  • I have long ranted about what I refer to as “Old lady laws.” telling us how we should behave.

    You know the group of retired ladies who have nothing else to do but complain loudly for all to hear about kids playing in the mud, driving to fast, cussing, fighting and the like.

    I have done my best to not listen to them, and am an outcast for it. Standing up for what’s right ain’t easy, but it’s what’s a man is supposed to do.


  • Ennui

    How does it matter what I, as a man, think about this subject? It will change nothing… Emotional engagement on any issue regarding male v female is utterly wasted energy.

  • Ennui

    That Blessed Estate

    You should finally do it now,
    Join, at last, in wedding vows,
    Doesn’t our union show you how…
    Blissful the married life can be?

    I’m not the same since I met her.
    Confinement is SO much better!
    I’m forever her debtor…
    She’s made a reformed man of me.

    It’s true, there’s a change of mission;
    Constantly begging permission;
    Forced into constant submission…
    Into a man as “sensing” as she.

    I don’t watch football anymore,
    or hunt, or fish, or play outdoors.
    I do far more domestic chores…
    But hey, that’s “responsibility”!

    I slept out on the couch last night,
    I said, or thought, or didn’t “sound right”;
    It put her in a “mood” to fight…
    Of course, I got the third degree.

    There’s the rest of life to worry;
    …I suppose you needn’t hurry
    To HER wedding fuss-and-flurry…
    There must be more fish in the sea.

  • Mat

    I would agree with Ennui.

    While men can still influence their private lives, the public arena has long since been closed due to legal issues. It has nothing to do with hand-wringing, but about survival. If the bulk of the country wants to go in the direction of neuterism, then it will do so with or without my individual blessing. I’m not putting my head out on the chopping block so that I can be annhilated financially by some thin-skinned dipshit (I’m not making a huge amount of money to begin with) and certainly will not do so in this economic climate.

    The country, actually Western Civilization in general, has long since decided that it wants to move towards neuterism, slowly but inexorably. Ok, so be it and there will be serious consequences for that. I can only hold to my own values and pick up what’s left over from the ashes when everything goes to hell.

    History shows that all civilizations eventually start out strong and crumble due to internal weakness. They, in turn, are conquered by stronger (not necessarily better) ones.

    But back to the situation at hand. Here’s the deal:

    We, the people, allowed our defenses to become weak enough so a bunch of assholes could ram planes into some of our buildings.

    We allowed ourselves to become empty, self-centered and narcissistic and in so doing become absolutely unaware of our most basic surroundings.

    We allowed ourselves not to get angry over this and end up in a war of attrition, a war that we’ll probably lose because democracies historically don’t have the stomach for that sort of thing.

    We allowed ourselves to become complacent and spend like there’s no tomorrow, thus getting ourselves into a royal buttload of personal debt.

    We allowed, yes allowed, a REPUBLICAN government to spend like a bunch of Democrats and did nothing about it.

    We allowed a Democratic Congress, supported by a Republican president to pass a $700 billion bailout package because we collectively were too ignorant to understand the concept of economics. We’re way too worried about A-Rod’s doing in baseball. That’s much more important…

    We allowed a Socialist to be elected to the presidency, with essentially a majority Socialist Congress and in so doing have virtual control of the country for at least two years.

    We allowed illegal immigration to go unchecked for decades, DECADES, and didn’t want to deal with it. Well, we’re dealing with it now, aren’t we?

    We allowed the Messiah and Congress to pass Porkulus, thus ensuring ourselves more of the wonderful national debt.

    We allowed the English language to become only one of a growing patchwork of languages in this country.

    We allowed a small group of leftist fanatics to take control of the education and information sharing professions and let’s face it, the legal arena.

    And I can pretty much guarantee that we, the people, will allow government health care, more spending, more stupid decision making because we don’t want to collectively deal with it.

    Yes, we collectively allowed all this. And now, after all this, at this late hour, we’re just going to “man up”? In this kind of environment, I doubt there will be a great leader. However, we do currently have a leadership that this country so truly and richly deserves.

  • Pingback: Ed Driscoll » The Collapse Of Middlebrow Culture()

  • After reading this I had to sit down and just have a good cry.

  • i address this issue over @ “mad as hell and not going to take it any more”.

    production on new webisodes pending…

    would love to hear everyone’s feedback.

  • Bram

    Good post. The only places I have felt completely “myself” as an adult are: the military (USMC and Army National Guard – combat units only), the various Rugby clubs I played for, the gun club I belong to with other guys too old to do the first two activities any more.

    Civilian office work – it’s like walking on eggshells all day to get that paycheck.

  • When I was a wee lad, the thing fully-grown men told boys like me, was that you could tell a lot about a man by his handshake.

    If an update is in order, I think it’s got to do with the fella’s voice. This has been the focal point of the attack upon the real man.

    A real man talks…easily. The pitch of his voice is the natural resonance of his voice box. Not one half-note sharper or flatter. This, in the twenty-first century, is under assault. When men talk with a pitch higher than what their voice box is built by The Good Lord to deliver, they’re placating children who’ve been raised to find the male voice threatening, or women who’ve been raised to find the male voice threatening. Neither one of those two are worth placating.

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