Gird Yer Loins, You Have Four Months To Survive!

August 12, 2009 / 1:21 pm • By Dr. Melissa Clouthier

It’s tough taking these people seriously. This speech by Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon
Incheon sounds like a Pentecostal pastor at an over-heated Tent Revival:

“The downside is equally dramatic.

If we fail to act, climate change will intensify droughts, floods and other natural disasters.

Water shortages will affect hundreds of millions of people. Malnutrition will engulf large parts of the developing world. Tensions will worsen. Social unrest – even violence – could follow.

The damage to national economies will be enormous. The human suffering will be incalculable.

We have the power to change course. But we must do it now.

As we move toward Copenhagen in December, we must “Seal a Deal” on climate change that secures our common future. I’m glad that the Chairman of the forum and many other speakers have used my campaign slogan “Seal the Deal” in Copenhagen. I won’t charge them loyalty. Please use this “Seal the Deal” as widely as possible, as much as you can. We must seal the deal in Copenhagen for the future of humanity.

We have just four months. Four months to secure the future of our planet.”

Why not carry a sandwich board around the public square with the words, “World Ending! Get Right With Gaia!”

Anecdote here.

Posted in Isms • Not America • Political Animals • We're All Gonna Die
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  • O Bloody Hell

    FAST ACTION!!

    QUICK, DECISIVELY MADE COMMITMENTS!!

    That’s UTTERLY REQUIRED!!

    (sign here, please)

    I mean, if you take ANY longer, the rubes are gonna get wise…

    You know, you have to get out of River City **before** the band uniforms and equipment arrive, and people get an idea of what they’ve actually bought.

  • http://www.johansens.us Jay

    Oops, he forgot one of the key rules of doom-crying: Predict doom about 10 years out. That’s close enough to get people scared, but far enough away that you have time to profit from any panic and hysteria that you manage to create.

    If you say the world will end in 500 years people will figure, Hey, I’ll be dead by then anyway, who cares. But putting it just 4 months away means there’s no time to sell books, make movies, or pass major legislation to increase your power or enrich your friends.

    Also, by putting it ten years out, if you just stop talking about it in 7 years, people forget. Then after the time passes and nothing happens, you can start a new doom crying campaign on a different crisis. Or just for fun, predict the OPPOSITE crisis. Like, thirty years ago they were warning about global cooling; today they warn about global warming. This is more fun, because then you get to left at the incredible stupidity of the people at the same time that you’re ripping them off.