I’d Vote For Paris–UPDATED

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

So, have you seen the best advertising for John McCain, yet? Yesterday, Paris Hilton released a video putting forth her energy policy. She had to cut the video short because she had to pick a Vice Presidential candidate, bitches, but hey, she makes sense:

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

My first thought watching this video was Cassy Fiano’s, too: “Scary question: if Paris and Barack were your two choices, which would you vote for? I honest-to-God don’t know who would be worse.”

Well, let’s consider what Paris has that Obama lacks:

  1. Job experience–as in, she’s had a real job, paid real taxes and had to make executive decisions
  2. Owned a company–forget pie-in-the-sky ideals, she knows what it’s like to hire and fire, to haggle with lawyers over contracts, to negotiate.
  3. World awareness–sure it’s Ibiza and Paris and London, but Barack Obama has nothing on Paris when it comes to jet setting
  4. Style–Obama has the sunglasses, nose-in-the-air, jacket over the shoulder panache but, Paris throws in the head toss and minces in a way Obama just can’t for the camera–although, I have to give it to him, he’s pretty damn good.
  5. Policy–While Obama talks one more government bail-out, Paris discusses energy policies that are actually workable and sensible.
  6. Youth–Obama is young and fresh and exciting, but Paris is even younger, and fre…well, younger. Neither one of them seem particularly fresh. Smoking to stay skinny works for them, though. Something for the youth of America to consider.

All in all, Paris is hawt, bitches. Obama seems like, so, totally yesterday compared to her.

UPDATE:

The Sniper (one of my favorite guys on the internet, by the way) explains why he’s endorsing Paris. Here’s just one reason why:

4) Character Judgement is better than both the other candidates. You won’t find any Rev. Wrights or Keatings in Paris’ background. When Nicole Richie screwed up, there was no waffling on Paris’ part, she actively went out to find a new BFF. As far as I know, she’s never once engaged in any financial dealings with shady bastards like Rezko.

Cross-posted at RightWingNews.com