Erick Erickson wrote a must-read piece to the young men of the conservative movement. It’s good stuff and especially important considering men are to be future leaders at home, at church, etc.
Women will be future leaders, too, and I was dismayed to see how many of them either looked frumpish or like two-bit whores.
First, are these young people being taught anything by their parents? I was at another service-oriented gathering of young women where the girls were in tight bandeau-skirts (you know, the kind of tube-top skirts that hookers wear on street corners?). They were sitting with their mothers. What is going on here?
Second, have women so internalized feminist dogma that they see themselves in only two ways? Butch, men-lite wannabes or 3rd wave sluts who empower themselves by screwing every available horndog man?
Neither path is a way to self-love and respect, mind you. Both tracks will inhibit future success.
Women, if you’re at a conference where you’re learning to be a future politician or wish to succeed in the business of politics, dress the part. No, you don’t have to be in a business suit with pearls. However, modesty is a minimum. So:
1. No cleavage. That’s right. Cover that up. I say “no” in absolutist terms because women will show a tiny bit and that’s okay, but really, in a business environment where ideas are the priority, a dude thinking about your ta-tas is counter-productive.
2. Skirts no more than three finger-widths above the knee. Why do I even have to write this? Well, because someone is allowing these girls out of the house with mini-skirts that reveal too much.
3. Save the stilettos for Saturday night on a date with your boyfriend.
4. Bend at the knee. No, I don’t want to see your butt.
Young women, you degrade your own value by dressing and then acting the ho.
I cannot even tell you how many girls have told me that all they want is to get married and have babies. They do not seem to make the connection that a young man is not interested in getting married and making babies with a girl who is so easy as to have a one-night stand over a CPAC weekend (or any other weekend.)
You know what a guy thinks when you slut-it-up? He thinks: If she’ll do that with me, she’ll do that with anyone.
This is not politically correct advice, mind you. Young ladies at college are encouraged to embrace their sexuality and flaunt it on the one hand (empowerment!) or to be tough, gruff and make-up free (man’s world!) to be taken seriously.
A successful woman can be tough and beautiful, modest and stylish, smart and sexy while still being chaste and having expectations of men.
The conservative movement means conservative values–promoting behavior that will lead to a sound society. Family is at the basis of this. Sexuality, and the self-management of it, is at the core of family.
A man who will use self-restraint, respect a woman, honor her enough to not pressure for sex–is a man who will more likely be faithful in marriage, work and life.
Likewise, a woman who sees herself as more than a sex-object and realizes she doesn’t need to be a man in order to be worthy, who carries herself with confidence and modesty, will attract men who want to get married and make babies.
It is disheartening that these ideas even need to be written about, but clearly they do. If, at the number one conservative conference of the year, young men and women are looking and acting like the cast of Jersey Shore, it’s time to reset the compass.
It’s past time.
P.S. Parents, your children reflect your standards, or lack thereof. For. Shame.
UPDATED: Worth a read. A father gives his account of young women and says, in his article, The Death of Pretty:
Most girls don’t want to be pretty anymore even if they understand what it is. It is ironic that 40 years of women’s liberation has succeeded only in turning women into a commodity. Something to be used up and thrown out.
Of course men play a role in this as well, but women should know better and they once did. Once upon a time you would hear girls talk about kind of women men date and the kind they marry. You don’t hear things like that anymore.
But here is the real truth. Most men prefer pretty over hot. Even back in 6th grade I hated the “hot” Olivia Newton John and felt sorry for her that she had to debase herself in such a way. Still do.
Please read the whole thing.
Well, at least Wonkette is consistent. They are for sluttiness! Yay! Let’s promote STDs, drunken debauchery, casual sex, and by extension, the inevitable unwanted pregnancies and abortions that result. Isn’t being progressive positively regressive? Like it’s some big cultural evolution and progress to have humans rut like animals.
Dan Riehl welcomes Tube Tops.
There is, in fact, a sort of intellectual jujitsu that a few conservative males practice, wherein they decline to respect women in the egalitarian John Stuart Mill sense (because, doncha know, that’s feminist, and it’s bad), and yet they decline to do it in an Old-World, gentlemenly sense (because that would be old-fahioned, and we’re all very modern around here). These two approaches can overlap, but in a certain type of male they might both be eschewed . . . and that is a recipe for caddishness.
I’ve seen it, and it isn’t attractive.
But, you know: these matters of etiquette aren’t easy, no matter where one stands on the social-conservative spectrum. And conventions . . . well, they can be dicey arenas when it comes to the etiquette of flirting. (Rebecca Watson just called to point out that a guy once tried to coffee-rape her in an elevator, which, you know . . . made me sigh heavily.)
The bottom line is, treat people decently. If you’re wrestling with heavy-duty personal demons such as uncontrolled anger—or a tendancy to proposition new acquaintances‐don’t drink as heavily, even if there is a hosted bar.
She brings up a good point on acting respectful. And that’s really what I’m talking about here–dressing, acting respectfully, appropriately (man, I hate that word).
It’s a matter of even knowing what is respectful attire, action, etc. This all makes me seem terribly old-fashioned. And it probably makes me seem hard on women.
If a woman is looking for a man, don’t act like a little girl, don’t dress provocatively and then be appalled when you’re propositioned, and have a couple standards for behavior–your own and his.
These sorts of things used to be taught. Now the rules and expectations are so blurred and confusing, there’s a certain amount of blithering hysteria involved in the Western mating ritual. Girls really have no concept of their own value and are shocked at being treated as a commodity.
Question: Were loose standards the standard for getting into the bloggers lounge? Inquiring minds outside the room want to know.
Relationships are difficult. I’m here to help. Here’s some words of wisdom to keep your relationship from turning dull and boring:
1. Keep the mystery alive–Too many people reveal too much too often. Why share where you’re going or what you’re doing or who you’re with. A little doubt keeps things spicy.
2. Call rarely–It’s so annoying to have your work interrupted by mindless blather about nothing. One of the biggest myths is that your significant other actually cares what you’re thinking about when you’re chomping your food on your lunch hour. Newsflash! No one cares.
3. Retreat from conflict–People often deal with conflict by trying to resolve it and talk it out. This can be a big mistake. Most likely, the things you fight about today are the things you’re going to fight about forever. Don’t resolve it. Accept it. Stay away for as long as possible. The other person will eventually get tired of being angry.
4. Don’t expect your spouse to meet your sexual needs–You should know that the best sex of your life happened before you got married or moved in together. You didn’t get married for sex. You got married for companionship, bill-sharing and maybe having a kid or two. Having sexual expectations is just setting yourself up for disappointment. Let it go.
5. Spend time cultivating interests that don’t include your spouse–One of the biggest problems in marriages is that people think they should do stuff together. Why? If you like golf, and your wife hates it, well, she’ll just have to get over it and understand that golf makes you happy. If she likes shopping, she needs to do it when it’s convenient for her. Her man will understand. Togetherness is overrated.
6. Don’t change–Be you. Until you’re your true, unchecked self, you can’t really be free. Trying to get rid of annoying habits or irritating traits is just energy wasted. A true partner will love you no matter what.
7. Don’t apologize–True love means never having to say you’re sorry. Why should anyone expect an apology? You’re doing the best you can with what you’ve got and if the person doesn’t understand it, they have the limited world-view, not you. Saying you’re sorry is for sissies. Men are emasculated enough. Women cow-tow to men too often. Stop apologizing!
8. Don’t give tokens of affection–Materialism in all its guises is just manipulation. Don’t do it. A person who needs concrete proof of love is superficial and not worth your time anyway. True love doesn’t need to be spoken or given or shared. Rings are just that–symbolic. Who needs symbols? The real thing is just understood.
9. Ignore special dates–Again, this is just a manifestation of artificial constraints imposed by society. Every day is special! Why focus on birthdays or anniversaries? They are days like any other and it’s ridiculous that people have expectations of gifts or kindness on those days.
10. Stop saying “I love you”–The words become vain and meaningless after a while. True love doesn’t need constant reinforcement. True love just “knows”. If your partner needs to hear the words, well, that’s just too demanding. Who needs demanding in an intimate relationship? Forget it and move on.
Some of these pieces of advice might seem unconventional, but really, relationships are cracking under the pressure of inane expectations. People want too much, expect too much and just generally put too much faith in other human beings. There is no perfect partner out there. You can’t be the perfect partner. Why try? Just be yourself and the person right for you will find you and love you just the way you are. That’s true love and the world needs more of it.